30 Something Baby Doc

I just spoke with a college friend of mine from the East Coast. I feel incredibly sorry for him and his wife. R (my friend of nearly 20 years) has been married for over 15 years with 4 chidren. He's also a physician (cardiothoracic surgeon) who continually cheats on his wife. R is a very nice person, good looking, a great conversationist and open with his feelings. He's always good to his wife and children and I can't really understand his many indiscretions. He rationalizes he behavior by claiming he never dated other women before he met and married his wife. Like a retroactive sowing of wild oats. I tried countless times to convince him to either stop cheating or divorce his wife. His wife knows he has strayed in the past and offered to seperate, but R was upset by the thought of her leaving with his children, so they attempted worked things out. He promised to remain faithful.

R met a attractive flight attendant recently and they've been having an affair for over a month. He likes her wild side and stating she's very sexually adventurous. He also claim that they have alot in common outside the bedroom. I feel this affair is worse than the others, because they are both beginning to develop feeling for each other and have used the "L" word. R recently revealed to the flight attendant that he was currently married and she had an emotional meltdown stating she would never see him again but unfortunately fell back into his arms.

I feel tremendous pity for R's wife as well as R himself. It's a frightening and stressful situation he has created for his family and himself. He won't leave his wife and at the same time he won't stop cheating . I also believe that his wife's self esteem is so low that she continues to tolerates his infidelity. R is that last friend ever would have thought could be capabale of this behavior and it make me question our motivations for marriage when it potentially could result in the above.



*obtw, R gave me permission to blog about his situation*