30 Something Baby Doc

I have never understood why a pregnant minor requires consent from her leagl guardian if she were to undergo a surgical procedure (ie. C- section). Yet, once she delivers her baby, she may provide legal consent for her infant. (ie. circumcision). A minor is competent enough to provide consent for her infant, but not herself?

Have a happy one guys.

notice the pretty flowers in the background. (compliments of my realtor)

I saw a patient the other day in my office who was have severe lower abdominal pain with intercourse. She described the pain as severe and near intolerable during intercourse. She described to me multiple maneuvers she utilized to lessen the pain during sex. Even placing a cushion over her abdomen.

The entire time, I'm thinking to myself. " Have you tried telling your partner to keep it in his pants until we figure out what's wrong with you!"

I'm not sure if that was an option?

It was very quiet on call last night. I slept well. I find it amazing how soundly I can sleep even when I'm lying on a extremely firm and sterile hospital bed. I don't know how patients do it? I guess I've just gotten used to it.

I'm off to Chicago this weekend for a medical conference.

Cryo-Endometrial Ablation. A minimally invasive technique that essentially eliminates menstrual cycles (as well as abnormal bleeding) avoiding the need for hysterectomy.

The procedure can be performed in the office under minimal analgesia. Sometimes, I feel that as our gyn procedures become less expensive, less invasive and widely available, the need for gynecologic surgeon will significally decrease ........and I'll spend the rest of my life peforming pap smears.

I believe my realtor has several preconceived notions regarding my lifestyle because I'm 36 and still single. My realtor is a very sweet older lady, successful and essentially a self made millionaire. She's very opinionated, direct and at times can be judgmental. When I converse with her, I feel like I'm her son and I'll never live up to her elevated standards.

She was nice enough to loan me 2 decorative pillows in order to spruce up my master bedroom in the condo I'm currently selling. The pillows were made of very delicate material and soon after she loaned them to me, a seam ruptured in one of the pillows. She was over my condo recently setting up for an open house, I told her about the damaged pillow and my plans to have it repaired. My realtor replied sternly saying," tommy, I've never in my life seen that happen to a pillow unless it had been involved in a pillow fight" She likely had a mental image of me on my kingsize bed with 2 drunk playboy bunnies having a wild, knock down, drag out pillow fight.

I laughed when she offer that theory. (I thought she was joking), but after she repeated herself several times, I realized she was serious.

I'm an busy medical professional and I wish I had enough free time to hangout in my condo and have pillow fights

She also turned her nose up on the six pack of beer I had in the fridge.

The following events are part of my career hall of shame.

I was a intern when a cocaine addicted pregnant woman (AKA...Crackhead) was rush in by the paramedics for heavy vaginal bleeding. The woman was abrupting (a severe and potentially lethal situation for the fetus where the placenta prematurely separates from the wall of the womb) .

The patient arrive on the ward screaming frantically and bleeding heavily. Her baby was in distress with a very low heart rate. Fortunately she was completely dilated and close to delivering. I asked the nurse for a vacuum ( a device that attached to the infants head and uses traction to aid in delivery). I yelled at her to push as I pulled. The nurses called the pediatric team to the room.

After considerable effort and screaming, she delivered an infant boy. The pediatricians arrived and quickly resuscitated the infant who did very well afterward. The patients hemorrhage slowed after delivery, but there still was considerable blood all over the place. After I had delivered the placenta, I felt like there was still some fragments of placenta left inside her womb.

I reach my gloved hand inside of her but, I was unable to retrieve it. I again tried REPEATEDLY. First inserting my fist and then the entire forearm as I probed for the fragments 0f placenta. The only thing I retrieved was this strange brownish material. WTF!!

OMG! I finally realized that I was shoving my entire arm up her ass!

that'll teach her to do drugs while she's pregnant

The meeting with my lawyer went great:-)

She walked me through the entire malpractice litigation process from beginning to end....which I greatly appreciated. I've never been sued before ,so this whole process was foreign to me. She strongly feels that when this case goes to a review panel, my name will be dropped. I'll continue to pray for that.

There's one thing that troubles and angers me about plaintiff's attorneys. I had these suspicions before I met with my lawyer, but she confirmed them.

The attorney's decision to take on malpractice cases commonly has less to do with the physician's negligence and has more to do with the degree of damages. (more damages=$MORE MONEY$). Physician negligence may not even be very apparent initially but the plaintiff's attorney hopes and prays to "dig" something up during the discovery process and get paid in the end. On the flip side, A physician's negligence could be blaring, but if the damages are minimal, the attorney won't touch it with a ten foot pole.

For that reason, I group malpractice plaintiff's attorneys into the ASSHOLE category;-)

OBTW, my lawyer loved the way I answer questions and said I would make a great expert witness. Maybe I'll be able to retire early.

It's 4:50 am and I slept very little tonite. Some of my insomnia was by choice and the rest by circumstance.

choice = watching TV in my call room, doing pushups and situps, going down to the nurses lounge and shooting the shit with the third shift nurses.

circumstance = sporadic deliveries all night

As much as I hate being up all night, getting called to deliveries, doing my best to supervise the residents and medical students, I always put on a happy face for the patients and their families. This is one of the most (if not the most) happiest occasions they'll ever experience and the last thing they would won't to do is share that experience with a grumpy asshole obstetrician that needs some sleep.

Remedy = I always smile, and say " Congratulations sweetheart, that is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen born!"

I meet with my lawyer tomorrow. I'm kinda nervous. I don't know why because my involvement in the case in question was at best minimal. I'm on call tonite, therefore, I hope I'm coherent in the morning. I met this lawyer once before and she seems fairly competent (once she started returning my calls). ....and hopefully she can pull my ass out of this mess.

OBTW...from this day on , I'll make and effort to blog more
:-)

Fresh - Yesterday I took my motorcycle to Williams-Sonoma. I walked in with my leather jacket on, holding my helmet. There were no other patrons in the store. There were two clerks working at the time. They both looked up at me, and went right back to what they were doing without saying a word. It was the first time in my life that nobody in Williams-Sonoma greeted me or asked me if I needed help. I thought, "Hey, I wonder if this is what it feels like to be black." What do you think Dr. tommy?


Dr. tommy - Fresh, unless you can figure out a way to enlarge your penis to 3 times it's normal size, you'll never know what it feels like to be black...sorry.

I was at my new house the other day, checking on the progress of my kitchen remodeling. I was walking around the front yard and noticed a small ziplock bag full of mushrooms? It was laying in my flower bed.

Why do I have to leave multiple messages for my lawyer in order to get a call back. How would she like it if her doctor remained unavailable to her when she wanted important test results.