30 Something Baby Doc

The following events are part of my career hall of shame.

I was a intern when a cocaine addicted pregnant woman (AKA...Crackhead) was rush in by the paramedics for heavy vaginal bleeding. The woman was abrupting (a severe and potentially lethal situation for the fetus where the placenta prematurely separates from the wall of the womb) .

The patient arrive on the ward screaming frantically and bleeding heavily. Her baby was in distress with a very low heart rate. Fortunately she was completely dilated and close to delivering. I asked the nurse for a vacuum ( a device that attached to the infants head and uses traction to aid in delivery). I yelled at her to push as I pulled. The nurses called the pediatric team to the room.

After considerable effort and screaming, she delivered an infant boy. The pediatricians arrived and quickly resuscitated the infant who did very well afterward. The patients hemorrhage slowed after delivery, but there still was considerable blood all over the place. After I had delivered the placenta, I felt like there was still some fragments of placenta left inside her womb.

I reach my gloved hand inside of her but, I was unable to retrieve it. I again tried REPEATEDLY. First inserting my fist and then the entire forearm as I probed for the fragments 0f placenta. The only thing I retrieved was this strange brownish material. WTF!!

OMG! I finally realized that I was shoving my entire arm up her ass!

that'll teach her to do drugs while she's pregnant